Okay, okay a while ago I shared this post on why I think romance is completely and utterly DEAD and I got some amazing feedback from you all. In fact, I got tons of emails, DM’s and just personal messages with you agreeing with me and sharing your own stories so much so that thought I had GOT to share more of my personal dating life on here. I mean, why the hell not right?!
Call me the Taylor Swift of blogging. You screw me then well, I’ll blog about you.
So why not share some of my best, or shall I say WORST first dates with you all. I mean, lets be honest, the worst ones do give the best stories, right?!
Date no. 1: The No-Show
Yep, it’s happened to me. The blind date that’s not so blind because you’ve seen a photo of him and chatted through text a bunch. He begs you to go out on a date with him and well, guess what. He’s a complete and utter no-show. Thankfully it was only a coffee date so I only sort of had to look like a loser who got stood up but I think the workers felt bad for me because they ended up giving me my coffee for free. Who’s the winner now??
Date no. 2: The Moocher
Now, I’ve never actually had the guy that asked to split the bill before although I’ve known many clients and friends who have told me that this actually happens. I remember a while ago when these friends would tell me this I would look at them in pure shock and horror thinking, “You’re joking!! That doesn’t actually happen, does it?!” Well, I clearly must have jinxed myself because I’ve had to pay the entire bill before, not just split it. Yep, I pulled the classic, “Oh do you need me to get it?” because that’s what us girls always do, right? The guy NORMALLY says “No, no I got it,” unless he was raised by a pack of wolves.
Well, this time, the guy said, “Oh sure, that would be great!” At this point I think I had to pick my jaw up from the floor of the restaurant because I was in total shock. Needless to say, that was the last time I ever talked to that guy again. Oh and he never walked me to my car. Shocker, right?
Date no. 3: The Gift Card User
Maybe this doesn’t seem offensive to some of you but damn to me it’s just straight up hilarious. I remember getting asked out to a super nice restaurant once (like one of those fancy steakhouses) and I thought I was down right special AF if a guy was asking me to this place. We get there and I remember I had taken my sweet time getting ready to make sure I looked extra good. I was all excited for the date cuz he seemed promising. Keyword: seemed.
Then, we get to talking and one of the first things out of his mouth was, “Yea so I got this gift card here for Christmas and didn’t have anyone else to go with so I thought of you.” WTF? One, he used a gift card on our first date and two he literally said he had no one else to ask out so asked me. Was I in the twilight zone??
I think I ordered the most expensive item on the menu after that.
Date no. 4: The Drunk
I hate to admit it but Instagram lead me to my next disaster story. The guy, who will remain anonymous was actually on a reality show back in the day which should have been my first clue. We connected through Instagram and eventually got to texting/talking and we planned to get together and go on a date shortly after. Fast forward to our date — I came dressed far too nicely for this slob kabob that’s for sure. He picked a place that I hadn’t heard of before so I had thought it was maybe a restaurant. Turns out it was a hole in the wall dive-y bar and I walked in feeling so god damn awkward. Not only that but when I walked in, he stumbled over, introduced himself and lead me to his table of about 5 FRIENDS he was hanging out with. Ummm, what?! I thought this was a date? Oh by the way, did I mention 4 out of the 5 friends were girls and one was his ex girlfriend?! The story just gets better and better, right?!
Trying to put it behind me I decided to make the best of the situation.
The guy was wasted beyond belief, wreaked of alcohol, tried making out with me at the table and then insulted me at the same time. Charmer, I know. He then disappeared to the bathroom to do god only knows what and when he didn’t return for about 20 minutes I made my escape and left. That date was the zinger.
Although these are all awful and I complain about them, they are all life experiences and to be honest, these things happen for a reason, right? Now we can look back, I can blog about it and we can laugh the dates away. Til next time!
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